If you read the “Welcome” page for this website, you’ll note that the person who is most dependent on you is your future self. It’s quite clear that you have a relationship with the person you will be 1 minute from now….or an hour or a day, or a month or a year. The possibility for change is inherent in everything and our behavior and choices can profoundly change our future self.
Being in relationship is among the most important work we do as humans and it is also the hardest. Whether it is a relationship with another (be it partner, child, friend, or even adversary), how we act and react shows us many aspects of ourselves. If we are able to pay attention and observe ourselves, it may show us what we want to keep and nurture and what we’d like to change about the way we are.
One of the most important relationship we will have as an adult is our relationship with our self….the quality of that determines our relationships with the rest of the world. Originally, our view of ourselves was shaped by our parents (“caregivers,” as they’re sometimes called). We have no control over what they tell us, how they look at us and hold us, and, in brief, how they shape just about everything we believe about ourselves.
While it is very important to examine the belief systems we picked up in this relationship, it is equally crucial that we reflect on our behavior and give ourselves feedback in a loving, and nurturing way. In short, how we talk to ourselves — and the emotional tone we use as we interpret the world and our experience — is crucial. And, as in so many other areas, kindness and love play a huge role in whether this relationship blossoms and becomes healthier or simply repeats and recreates old misunderstandings and wounds.